February 2012
20 tags
There is a special place in hell for people who try to get me to translate a sentence into Spanish by asking me for direct word-by-word translations
THE GRAMMAR IS NOT THE SAME
THIS IS NOT A HARD CONCEPT
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Chemistry cat would be proud.
Harley: I can't find any good science jokes because all the good ones argon.
Tah: Harley just take all these awful science jokes and barium
Lauren: I could respond to this with another clever chemistry pun, but there would probably be no reaction.
Tah: Not bad. I might just have to keep an ion you.
Lauren: Nah, I think it'll be okay if you just check up on me periodically.
Tah: I can only do it after 6 PM though, the nitrates are much more affordable than the day rates.
Lauren: Glad to see you found a suitable solution. If they lower their charges, I bet they'd attract more customers like you.
Tah: Well I'm not positive about that, they have a bad reputation of stealing electrons.
Lauren: I hope we don't stretch out our puns for too long, or they might become a Bohr.
Tah: No kidding. After a while they just get saturated with cobalt, radon, and yttrium and everything gets really CoRnY then.
Lauren: Wow. That comment really had a lot of substance to it.
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geodude:
Scientific Attempt To Create Most...
Fuck fuck fuck I left that open can of Monster in my car and now the inside of my car smells like death and sadness and piss
Fucking hell
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Gambling during work and whaddaya know what is the first thing to show up on my dash but the inevitable
Oh
Ohhhhhhh dear
That 300-mg-caffeine buzz I’ve had going on all day is starting to crash
Halp
My caffeine content has fallen and it can’t get up
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If anyone’s online for like the next hour or so and wants to be a huge dork and play competitive tetris with me I’m over here
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Remember how a few months ago I was really really hoping that the soda activists who brought Vault into being would make a comeback now that Coke’s discontinued it?
Well…
The activists are back, baby - the SURGE Movement is back up and at ‘em!
fawks asked: sjdgnkfsd!!! YOU COULD DO THE JESSIE SEX SHOP LIVESTREAM HEADCANON
I really really really hate the rain
My entire university is lower than the surrounding areas
The campus FLOODS when it rains
noooooooo
swaywolf13 replied to your post: swaywolf13 replied to your post: Driving around in…
So glad I live up north…Tornadoes are rare up here, though we did have one take out the Rimrock Auto Arena a couple years ago. That was scary :P If I lived in tornado alley, I would have probably died of a heart attack by now. How do you handle it?
Mostly by curling up and playing dead
swaywolf13 replied to your post: Driving around in a tornado warning …
Pure. Adrenaline.
Literally my entire drive was just like
Driving around in a tornado warning
Eeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tried Monster for the first time today. Verdict:
It tastes like death and sadness
Also, piss
A very quick way to alarm your tongue is to spend several hours nursing a can of citrus Nos and then take a sip of Mello Yello
Guyssssss my head feels fuzzy I think I got myself caffeine intoxicated again
Either that or I’m crashing and this is my brain’s way of telling me that I’m dumb and a most-nighter was a bad fucking idea
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
4 tags
Scumbag electronics
Is about to run out of battery
Wastes last bit of battery telling you that you’re about to run out of battery
Things that Tah did over the course of the night from midnight to about 5:30 AM
*Downed over 300 mg of caffeine total
*Ate 10 Zebra Cakes
*Ate fucking shittons of cheese whales
*Flailed madly about the room to regain energy
*Cheered up a friend at stupid-thirty AM
*Got like 90% of my paper done whoa damn
It has been an eventful almost-6-hours
Dear web designer who thought that making the results of your website’s search appear in new windows was a good idea
I literally despise you right now
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Still one of my favorite jokes of all time
A frog hops into a bank and goes up to the desk of the teller Patricia Black. “Hello,” says the frog. “I’d like to take out a loan for $100,000.” Miss Black seems shocked, so he adds, “Don’t worry, I can pay it back. My father is Mick Jagger.”
Finally, the teller agrees and asks the frog, “Do you have collateral for this loan?”
He...
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These are the kind of people I make friends with
Guy friend: Man, don't try to get published that's basically just prostituting yourself out
Me: Uh
Me: Care to explain that logic
Gf: Prostituting yourself basically means that you sell your body right
Me: Sure
Gf: And your writings are things made with your brain right
Me: ...Okay
Gf: Would you say that your brain is part of your body
Me:
Gf:
Me:
Gf:
Me: Oh go fuck yourself man
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birdhouseinmysoul replied to your post: I accidentally misspelled the word ‘aspects’ and…
Good lord, Tah. Whatchu been writin’?
AN ESSAY! I dunno where “ass pets” came from but my essay has very little to do with that particular fetish. Autocorrect is just a douche.
I accidentally misspelled the word ‘aspects’ and autocorrect changed it to ‘ass pets’
Jesus Christ
“…Yes, it’s sexist, but that’s how Spanish works. But as I tell...”
– My Spanish professor makes me smirk.
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WatchI haven’t posted anything particularly funny today so I recorded my first swig of Nos for y’all ‘cause I’ve heard I make funny faces when I eat/drink something gross
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Yes many jokes in my inbox yes good very good
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Guys when I asked for your favorite jokes I was hoping for actual jokes not types of jokes
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you’re so vain you probably think this post is about you
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there needs to be a warning label for writers that tells everyone that we come in contact with that if they piss us off we will write a novel where they are horribly maimed
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“Ethics: Humanity’s Obligated Response to Labor Trafficking”
Yes this is a good title for my essay that I am just now starting
On a ROLL baby